Biographical BS

So this is my first goaround with anonymous blogging. I see a lot of people who think protecting identity on the web is important. I don’t really care, I just don’t want my mother reading about the guy I fucked back in highschool. Buuuut, for the sake of this undercover operation, we’ll just call me… um…. happybatter, I guess, since wordpress already dubbed me as such when I was trying to name the site. Ah well, it’s all cool.

Other people I’m sure I will talk about:

Husband: A soon-to-be-ex, we’ll call him Capt. Dickie (hehehe… dickie……). There’s a reason we’re breaking up, go look at the damn blog.

Child A: Princess Sassafras, 3 year old girl, defiant and bratty at the times I’m sure I’ll be writing here. Likes to wear tutus and plastic high heels.

Child B: Little Raptor, 10 month old girl. Often makes loud screeching noises and gets into places she shouldn’t be, the clever girl. Ridiculously cute most of the time.

Pet A: Fuzzbutt, orange cat variety.

Pet B: Retard, exceptionally dumb fluffy calico cat variety.

Friend A: Tinkerbell, was my roommate in college, and probably is the only other human being actually reading this damn thing, so I have to make sure I ham it up to her in sufficient amounts.

(And then when I want to rant about her, there will be a blog number three that NOBODY will ever read….. ;-))

Friend B: Stilettopink. My BFF in highschool, I’m sure she’ll pop up from time to time. Especially if I get around to writing about all the crazy shit we did that my mother can’t read because I totally lied my ass off about it at the time and still have the internal maturity of a 15 year old.

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